The Sorrows of Womanhood
The idea of a perfect mother and wife to the African man paints the picture of a woman who works are back to bent and sap her bones dry in order to care for her children and husband.
Ideally in most parts of Africa a committed woman is one who puts her immediate family first before anything and anybody else displeases herself in order to please everybody else,living her life for other people.
These are all good qualities of a woman but bad when it is excessively unsupported, unappreciated and lacks some amount of discouragement. Today most women find companion and assistant in a husband, a real man finds fault in his wife overworking herself, a man that delights in his wife doing all the chores in the house needs his mind-set
A setting where the woman has to do the laundries, dishes, shopping, meals and work office or does trade hours half the clock portrays the hardworking stereotype. A lens through such daily activities would capture a woman stressed physically and mentally. From this sameexhausted being her children requires motherly devotion and the man craves marital bliss orspouse interaction. An accommodating woman may take all without complains, but adisgruntled one may take exception and harbour resentment from the conventional trend, hersilence would be her consoler, and may eventually result to broken marriage.
Some women do not speak about such challenges to their husbands for fear of being taggedan incompetent wife and a negligent mother. No matter how strenuous the task unfolds, shederives pleasure doing it all. In distant years pain killers and soothing balms become hergreatest companion; she cannot begin or end a day without swallowing some pills.
The woman wakes up with certainty, and sleeps with imbalance health state and thoughts indisarray, an uncaring husband would not note those critical signs of fatigue, or a selfish husband does notices but leaves the woman to her fate. And so many cases of the selfish husband abound in Africa and few of the liberal spouses are a scare success stories.
House helps are options, but cases of the mars they evoke rather than make the duties lesser have only increased more troubles for the woman. They tend to assault, molest the children, flirt with the husband and perhaps eventually take over the whole affairs of her home. In circle blames, the woman is faulted by relatives and society as incapable to keep her home.
How can a home and relationship stay together if a couple do not put collective efforts to An instance is sited of an incidence at Surulere, Lagos, Nigeria where a female house help kidnapped the children in her charge and held them for ransom. That was trusted personnel who heartily betrayed her bosses, and induced trauma to the kids by keeping them away from their parents for days. This is to say maids are not all that reliable. It is better for couples to be the leaders and servant to their children because it chunks out the best in most cases.
‘’Fortunately, there is an answer. The Scriptures clearly give us the model for being a man, a husband and father. I call that model the ‘’servant/leader.’’ When the concept is correctly interpreted and applied, it not only results in freedom for the husband and wife, but also helps you work better as a team to combat isolation and conflict in your marriage’’ Dennis Rainy
As said a husband should; be a leader, love his wife unconditionally then serve his wife and kids at the least free opportunity he gets, or just squeeze out time off busy schedules to impact some support in domesticity. These do not make the man a weakling, or one beingdominated by his wife, but by dominating these three features, the man conquers someconflicts and isolation which tend to arise in marriage.
When a woman is pressured with official, domestic and marital duties, her life is left withlittle joy, and if the man truly loves his or her wife he does things to reduce her work load andput smiles on her face. Spouses lending every form of assistance to each other call better atmosphere in the house.
Africa has a huge role to play in terms of developmental aids, strictly those still battling with technological advancement and their country unliveable. If there is consistent or uninterrupted power supply in most African nations, gainful employment and all other elemental growth would fall into place. Entrepreneurship would be on a large scale; women most especially can be their own bosses and have to regulate their duties in line with the home, and a husband who is able to establish his own business would likely create and havequality time with his family.
A liveable country encourages lessened stress, homes can afford to buy domestic appliances such as; washing machine, deep freezer to reduce laborious hand wash of clothes and preserve meals so the woman don’t have to prepare meals on daily basis, and it would go a long way in which the wife and mother can direct her limited time and energy on other tasksIt takes two to tango, and it takes two to make a home, from the moment one is burdened with all the task it becomes frustrating. Husbands should be liberal towards their wives andwives in turn to their husbands. A woman should derive joy from her home, and not be wearywith domestic burden all the time. With a supportive husband she can live up her dreamgoals, and with an unsupportive spouse her objectives just dies dastardly especially wheninvolved with career jobs. A wife and mother is a human being and not a jerky, symbolically neither spouse should be a stool or a broom, both should learn to be supportive at every available time and it makes a whole lot of difference with the relationship and home waxed
TONY TOKUNBO ETEKA FERNANDEZ 